I soon started a relationship with a lovely girl called Anaesthetics. I have to admit I had been kind of seeing her behind Surgery’s back. She was a wonderful girl. We spent ages just sitting there watching the world go by, talking about nothing. We had some really exciting times too. Well at the beginning. But those times became fewer and farther apart as I got to know her better. I was comfortable with her and she was very supportive but there was a side of me that was never going to be happy. Added to which I kept on flirting with Surgery over the green curtain. In the end, as much as I cared for her very much, I just couldn’t see myself with her for life. Besides that, a friend told me that she went to sleep with multiple partners…
Our happy little ménage-a-trois was suiting everyone really well – Anaesthetics had her devotees who would see no-one else, and ITU had a couple (but not many) regulars – she didn’t like the full commitment, too much pressure.
Unfortunately some of the more judgemental of the new-wave evangelists couldn’t understand our love, and hated us for it. They said we were only dabbling in a relationship and kept trying to split us up. They said I should make a decision now and forever between the two. It was all very confusing.
So I left the girls at it and flirted with EM (she’s changed her name – she was A+E when I met her of course) and I seemed to have found the right girl. It was tricky at the start because my friends and family thought she was a bit of a nightmare and rather unconventional. My mum certainly took time to approve of her. My uncle, an orthopaedic surgeon, thought she was a bit of an easy tart. But they came around because they realised that I loved her. We were made for each other. Sure she often threw complete hissy fits and I was up all night essentially getting abused, but she calmed down eventually. She tolerated my short attention span and my own tantrums. She was always challenging me (she’s rather experimental at times!) and coming up with something new for us to do together. I look back on those times with some fondness – it was dysfunctional, chaotic, passionate, stimulating and somehow it worked.
- EM is easy in, easy out. If you don’t want a major commitment you can have an on/ off relationship with EM and it’s OK.
- There’s a lot of variety. You want to try something new, pretty much anything and EM will let you get away with it.
- You want to have a bit of a dalliance elsewhere for a few months, or bring an old flame like anaesthetics or surgery into what you do at nights with EM and that’s all good…
So, although I was very happy with my tempestuous relationship with my wildcat missus EM, I was quite jealous of the number of suitors the somewhat homelier girls seem to attract. I began to think that perhaps EM needed to clean up her act a bit (actually, a lot) otherwise she faced the very real danger of ending up as a bitter lonely old spinster
Paediatrics tended to behave like the child in the nursery rhyme; when she was good, she was very very good but when she was bad she was horrid! She inflicted great joy but also great sadness. Her best friend and ally, Parents, were also trying at times. In the end I realised that she was just too young for me… I needed something more mature.
Recently EM and I got back together after a chance encounter in Australia. Turned out GP was a bit curious too – and so I have found myself with EM several times a week, and sometimes with GP at the same time! GP is really happy about this as she knows that when I am with her I am actually better than I used to be. EM likes it too, as sometimes GP pops up in the hospital and I’m better there too.